Future...

I would like to talk real quick about the future of this blog. I started it at the recommendation of using it to strengthen my writing skills and using it as a kind of journal. I haven't been able to post as much as I'd like due to school. However I would love to be able to start posting regularly and be able to connect with you all more.

If you have anything you would like to see please let me know. I would love to do something like a day a month I could answer questions, or do a weekly report of the news and my opinions on it, or a review ever saturday or something.

If anyone has any tips on how to use Blogger that would be very helpful as well :)

Anyways, thanks for reading and please leave a comment!

~MG

Suicide Awareness

I know it was yesterday that was suicide awareness day, but today I was really able to get the chance to sit and think about it. Granted it was when I was supposed to be looking over math but oh well. Anyways, I just felt like writing out my little story having to deal with suicide and figured some of you might relate.
So here it goes...
It all started when I was a little kid. We had just moved in, I was 4, and people were bringing us food. One of them was this girls mom who was a year older than me. I met her one day and we became good friends. I can still remember her mom passing our house and taking me with her the last 2 minutes to their house to play.
We went to each others parties, played at each others houses, everything. We never had a sleep over for we were pretty young, but maybe if we had stayed friends we would've. Eventually our age gap, more schoolwork (though it isn't much compared to now), and new friends separated us.
I was in 6th grade. I can't remember the day but I remember walking home like it was yesterday. I saw her in front of me, but I was too shy to say hi. I figured she wouldn't remember me and I would have another chance. I zoned out and walked into my house.
The next day posters were all over the neighborhood, she was missing. I can still remember driving with my aunt and her stopping at one of the posters. She was on the phone and she said "hold on, I'm trying to read this poster. One of Maddy's neighbor friends is missing."
The next thing I remember is picking out my clothes for school in the evening. It had been a few days, and she still hadn't been found. I wasn't thinking about it, I was worried about how I would look for school, or really what matched.
My mom walked into my room. I can't remember exactly what happened but basically it was "They found her, she killed herself." I remember crying, and hard. I was one of the last people to ever see her, and I would never get that chance to say hello again. I kept thinking that maybe if I had, she wouldn't have, but after many years I've learned that she had already made up her mind.
Ariana hung herself on March 3rd at the age of 12. She was found in some woods near my house. She had sent out text and facebooked about it, this was nothing she just casually decided to do. Please take everything people say seriously.
I think about her all the time, especially when I see her mom out walking her twin brothers who are about 3 now. No one deserves to think that suicide is the best way out. Please get help or confide in someone who can get you help.



I miss you Ariana, hope you are happier wherever you are now.

~MG

Back to School and Other Things

So as I'm sure most of the rest of you are, I'm going back to school in 2 days and all I can think of is how much I don't want to go back. But at the same time I'm a little ready for the summer to be over. Even though I'm not looking forward to having to study again, not be able to watch Netflix ever, and miss out on all the fun days at the cabin; I'm ready for shaving and bathing suit season to be over! You feel me?
This summer has been filled with more friends then most other summers combined for me, and while that's great I'm ready to have some of the drama be over. However even before school starts the school drama is catching up to me. Ah the life of a high school student...
Anyways, I can't help but start to worry about stuff. Between social aspects and the actual learning aspect of school, I'm not sure if I can handle both this year. I'm worried about losing people dear to me, as I almost let happen last year, but at the same time there are some people I'm not so sure I'm sad are leaving if all they're causing me is drama. For example, someone who says we'll go to a movie and then stops responding to my texts the rest of the summer...
However, I am looking forward to taking a drama class this year, not my first and hopefully not my last. As shy as I am I love acting. In acting I don't have to be some shy nobody, I can be whoever I want, even if who I want to be is some popular pretty princess!
I'm afraid I haven't written as much as I would've liked this summer, but I did write a little so at least I did some. I also got addicted to the book series The Mortal Instruments. Once I finish I hope to put up a review of the series. Currently I'm on the 3rd one but my hold expires in a day and I still have about 7 hours left in the audiobook...
I think the only reason I'm allowing the days to pass is that my two favorite TV shows are starting up again this month, Once Upon a Time and Big Bang Theory. Anyone else going to be watching them with me?
I hope the rest of you had a wonderful summer and have a wonderful school year!



~MG

Also, did I tell you I'm leading a group of middle school girls at church with another girl this year? I'm so excited!

Learning to Drive

So this summer I was forced to do what almost all teenagers in the United States do at 15, I was forced to learn how to drive. And as I sat in the middle row of the classroom for 2 hours 3 days a week for 5 weeks this summer I couldn't stop thinking about that Big Bang Theory episode in which they force Sheldon to learn how to drive (click on the link to see the clip).
However my personal opinion, unlike most of the rest of my peers, is that driving sucks. I hate it, I really do. Not sure if my parents are happy about this or not...
Anyways, that's been the main part of my summer so far, driving and more driving. Can't get my license on my birthday as you have to have your permit for 6 months (would have been nice to know) so I can get it a few days after Christmas. Do you know how much you have to pay for a license these days?! Neither do I, but I know it's a lot. My teacher told us, but now I can't remember... I just know it was quite a bit.
Hope the rest of you are having a wonderful summer. One month left already! I don't want to go back to school, but I guess if I have to. Schedules come out the 18th so at least I know my classes ahead of time, unlike middle school.



~MG

The Fault in Our Stars

For years now I've been seeing many of my fellow schoolmates spending hours with their face in this little blue novel with black and white clouds on the front. The book I'm referring to, as you may have guessed by the title of this post, is The Fault in Our Stars by the wonderful John Green. 

My best friends have been trying to get me to read it for years, but it wasn't until this year that I picked up my first novel by John Green, Looking For Alaska. Then I went on to Paper Towns and, An Abundance of Katherine's. I had TFIOS on hold for a while, but it wasn't in for a while. In fact, I was able to read the three books I mentioned above in 2 months before even getting under 100 on the waiting list. I had just gotten Will Grayson, Will Grayson that I got the email that I could finally read the book I'd been hearing about for so long. 

I can't remember the exact moment when I first opened the book (it was on my nook so I guess I technically never opened it, but still), but I can remember that it was hard to put down. I regret that I didn't get more than a few pages into Will Grayson, Will Grayson, but I must say it was worth it. I found so much hope and strength in this novel when I needed it the most. 

I personally have never been sick, but someone very close to me right now is going through chemotherapy. It is the hardest thing to watch, but at the same time it makes me grateful for my small infinity on earth, that I can spend it healthy and not too worried about how long I have left. Now, the person in question is, at the moment, cancer free, but we still try and make the most of the days we have, even if this infinity is a much longer one than Augustus Waters was. 

I would like to thank John Green for this book, for giving me an understanding of what cancer and terminally ill people are going through, and for giving me a reason to appreciate life again. Even though the world is not a wish granting factory, we have the power to grant our own wishes and make them come true. Only we decide our happiness, not the stars, not the people around us, only ourselves. For the fault is not in our stars, but in ourselves. 

If you haven't had the privilege of reading this novel, please do. Also, I would like to mention This Star Won't Go Out, the charity in memory of Esther Earl, one of the inspirations for this book. 

DFTBA, 

MG

Social Media and Technology Changed the World

Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, need I go on? In this day and age popularity and self-worth seem to be more based upon how many likes, favorites, retweets, etc you get rather than the people you have helped or the things you've accomplished. It's gotten to the point that people will only do things because "this will be a good picture for instagram" or "this will look great to my friends on facebook". Even though half your friends on facebook you've met once. Who really knows thousands of people enough to want to share personal details?
Communication has changed so much over the last 10 years that I'm not sure our parents even know what to do anymore but tell us that "face to face conversations are better" or "why don't you write them a letter and not an email?". My parents grew up without cell phones, so they at least heard peoples voices. Nowadays we just text someone. Asking someone out is as simple as shooting them a text. However it can take a long time to get a reply, when just asking them in person or over the phone you can get an instant response. I've been a victim of this, 1 week was how long it took them to reply. Now the situation was more complex than that, but if I had asked them (not on a date, I'm not that bold) in person I wouldn't have been so down for that whole week (only to be told no).
We've put our self-worth into devices and social media. Why? Cause we can! I don't know what kind of technology my children will have, or my grandchildren, but I fear that technology will make people become even more anti-social and almost like those fat people in Wall-e.
I would like to end on these wise words from Albert Einstein, and please, remember that even if your photo only gets two likes as opposed to 20, you are still you and you are wonderful!


~MG

High School

 This year I started high school. I don't know what I expected, everyone randomly bursting into song or doing drugs in the bathrooms? In reality, my reality at least, high school isn't like the movies make it out to be. Sure, there is lots of couples holding hands and making-out, and there are definitely certain groups. However I haven't heard anything about guys holding stereo's above their heads, or girls falling in love with vampires.
 I guess somehow I expected that when we all walked in everyone would couple off. This is not what happened at all. In my direct group of friends none of us have even started to date, let alone get the much-anticipated first kiss. This year I got my first slow-dance, but it was with a friend so I don't think it really counts. I think the point of freshman year is to learn that, first: middle school sucked; second: that high school isn't all about finding a gf/bf, but more about finding yourself. I have managed to at least partially find myself in the halls of my high school, and I have also managed to find new friends among the old.
 The most interesting thing this year? Lunch. Our conversations are much different than last year, and in a weird way... I've got the best friends!

According to google, this is high school.

And this describes my life

As Ellen says, be kind to one another,
MG