For me school was pretty easy. 6th grade got a little harder and it just continued. Suddenly in 8th grade I couldn't keep up. My grades were 'terrible', granted now I would die for those grades back but I'll get to that in a second. I didn't know how to handle having lower than an A in a class. Heck in 7th grade I got 1 A- and I was mad. Suddenly with my anxiety it became harder for me to focus and I told myself that once I was a bit better I wouldn't worry about my grades. As I am doing quite a bit better with my anxiety I've been working on my grades. My current grades? 2 C+, 1 B+, 3 A's. Yup, I'm telling you my grades.
At first I was horrified. A C? Then 2 C's? I was a wreck to say the least. Now I'm working on coming to terms with it and figuring out how I can do better with the situation I'm in. Either it be from a hard teacher/unit or my anxiety.
Someone said something to me last week that actually inspired this whole post. We were talking about a Social Studies quiz we had taken and she asked me what I got. When I told her an 82, she replied with "But you're the smart one." That single sentence has been on my mind since she said that. This whole concept of 'the smart one'. What does that even mean?!
Another thing. I don't know if this is everywhere but especially where I live you aren't 'smart' unless you're in advanced. Regular math, which our district is actually a year ahead in regular, is considered stupid math. If you have to be held back from stupid math then you're just an idiot. Then there's LASS. If you can take honors/AP you better take it or you're not smart. Another thing. If I'm taking 4 hard classes and 2 easy ones and have 4 B's and 2 A's, and John (generic name) is taking 4 easy classes and 2 hard ones and gets 2 B's and 4 A's he's deemed smarter than me. Maybe this is just the way I view things but from the way people talk in my classes these are the conclusions I've drawn, especially about the grade thing.
Last topic before I end my little rant here, a friend of mine told me he's taking AP Chem, AP Calculus and Physics along with 3 other high school classes and Running Start (college classes). I'm positive this is for college. When did we all become so obsessed with college? I know it's close now and we all want to get in and make ourselves a great future and everything, but honestly, in my opinion, is the school really going to matter? You can have so many wonderful adventures at a school even if it isn't Harvard or Yale or someplace with a really high GPA requirement. When I look back on my high school life I want to remember campfires and camps and drama class not 12 hours of homework locked in my room. I would honestly rather live life now than do a whole bunch of stuff to look good on a college application when I most likely won't need a lot to where I can afford.
This whole 'smart one' concept frustrates me so much, and I don't think I would've even thought of it if these past few months hadn't happened.
~MG
No comments:
Post a Comment