Almost 17 Without a Licence and Other Labels

As many of you who know me personally know that I hate driving. I get asked a lot why, and honestly sometimes I want to make up answers. But the truth is while I love being in control of most everything, especially group projects, taking other people's lives into my own hands and having to trust every other driver out there with mine, is something that is hard for me to handle. Freshman year in health we were given a presentation on car wrecks, complete with graphic pictures and terrible stories. I didn't even look at most of the pictures and I still came out shaken. Thinking that not only could that person hanging onto life be me, but that I could do that to someone else. And honestly, having to live with myself knowing I killed a person would be hard, but knowing I put an innocent 17 year old in a nursing home for the rest of their life, I don't know if I could ever recover from something like that. Sometimes I wonder if that's just an excuse, that I'm really more scared of dying or being in such terrible condition to wish that I had died, but honestly the thought of living knowing that I robbed someone of their life sends chills down my spine just thinking about it. While I still am working hard to get my Licence, I'm okay with being the last person to get it. I'm okay having to ask people for rides or taking the bus. And that's just something I've learned about myself, I don't have to do the normal expectations to be happy.

I don't know if that really counted as a label, but one that I often get is goody-two-shoes. I have been getting this for years, and I'm sure it's said behind my back. It used to hurt me, make me mad and such. However I'm learning to deal with this just like being asked over and over why I don't drive at my age. To me, I'd rather be a rule follower and have fun without worrying about being caught doing something illegal than feeling like I had this second life no one could know about. This isn't to say I'm a perfect person or was a perfect child. I talked back, I lied, but I tried really had to make my parents proud. As an older sibling I was alway taught I should lead by example, so I did my best to be good and such. It was also just how I was raised, while I may slip up and get rebellious or something, I always knew that my parents would be there telling me to do the right thing. I was taught to speak correct English, I was taught that if mom said no don't be a brat and do it anyways (though I broke this rule numerous times). Especially when I accepted Christ into my life, it really helped when people would call me that. I started to look at it as a compliment, that I was following Jesus as best I could despite having human flaws. 

Honestly, at the end of the day the only labels that really matter are the ones you put on yourself. And if those are negative, find a way to change that. For me, meditation has been helping me become a more positive and confident person. Find your way to stay happy. 

~MG