Suicide Awareness

I know it was yesterday that was suicide awareness day, but today I was really able to get the chance to sit and think about it. Granted it was when I was supposed to be looking over math but oh well. Anyways, I just felt like writing out my little story having to deal with suicide and figured some of you might relate.
So here it goes...
It all started when I was a little kid. We had just moved in, I was 4, and people were bringing us food. One of them was this girls mom who was a year older than me. I met her one day and we became good friends. I can still remember her mom passing our house and taking me with her the last 2 minutes to their house to play.
We went to each others parties, played at each others houses, everything. We never had a sleep over for we were pretty young, but maybe if we had stayed friends we would've. Eventually our age gap, more schoolwork (though it isn't much compared to now), and new friends separated us.
I was in 6th grade. I can't remember the day but I remember walking home like it was yesterday. I saw her in front of me, but I was too shy to say hi. I figured she wouldn't remember me and I would have another chance. I zoned out and walked into my house.
The next day posters were all over the neighborhood, she was missing. I can still remember driving with my aunt and her stopping at one of the posters. She was on the phone and she said "hold on, I'm trying to read this poster. One of Maddy's neighbor friends is missing."
The next thing I remember is picking out my clothes for school in the evening. It had been a few days, and she still hadn't been found. I wasn't thinking about it, I was worried about how I would look for school, or really what matched.
My mom walked into my room. I can't remember exactly what happened but basically it was "They found her, she killed herself." I remember crying, and hard. I was one of the last people to ever see her, and I would never get that chance to say hello again. I kept thinking that maybe if I had, she wouldn't have, but after many years I've learned that she had already made up her mind.
Ariana hung herself on March 3rd at the age of 12. She was found in some woods near my house. She had sent out text and facebooked about it, this was nothing she just casually decided to do. Please take everything people say seriously.
I think about her all the time, especially when I see her mom out walking her twin brothers who are about 3 now. No one deserves to think that suicide is the best way out. Please get help or confide in someone who can get you help.



I miss you Ariana, hope you are happier wherever you are now.

~MG

Back to School and Other Things

So as I'm sure most of the rest of you are, I'm going back to school in 2 days and all I can think of is how much I don't want to go back. But at the same time I'm a little ready for the summer to be over. Even though I'm not looking forward to having to study again, not be able to watch Netflix ever, and miss out on all the fun days at the cabin; I'm ready for shaving and bathing suit season to be over! You feel me?
This summer has been filled with more friends then most other summers combined for me, and while that's great I'm ready to have some of the drama be over. However even before school starts the school drama is catching up to me. Ah the life of a high school student...
Anyways, I can't help but start to worry about stuff. Between social aspects and the actual learning aspect of school, I'm not sure if I can handle both this year. I'm worried about losing people dear to me, as I almost let happen last year, but at the same time there are some people I'm not so sure I'm sad are leaving if all they're causing me is drama. For example, someone who says we'll go to a movie and then stops responding to my texts the rest of the summer...
However, I am looking forward to taking a drama class this year, not my first and hopefully not my last. As shy as I am I love acting. In acting I don't have to be some shy nobody, I can be whoever I want, even if who I want to be is some popular pretty princess!
I'm afraid I haven't written as much as I would've liked this summer, but I did write a little so at least I did some. I also got addicted to the book series The Mortal Instruments. Once I finish I hope to put up a review of the series. Currently I'm on the 3rd one but my hold expires in a day and I still have about 7 hours left in the audiobook...
I think the only reason I'm allowing the days to pass is that my two favorite TV shows are starting up again this month, Once Upon a Time and Big Bang Theory. Anyone else going to be watching them with me?
I hope the rest of you had a wonderful summer and have a wonderful school year!



~MG

Also, did I tell you I'm leading a group of middle school girls at church with another girl this year? I'm so excited!